I'll Save Myself
by AutumnIllusion
Summary: Sakura and Syaoran are really good friends but whenever they go out together as friends Syaoran blows Sakura off for a date. But when the popular Masami breaks up with him he goes to Sakura for help...only Sakura has already come to a realization...
1. Closed Eyes

I'll Save Myself

Chapter 1: Closed eyes

Summary: Sakura's just another girl in the crowd, admiring Syaoran, the most popular guy in school, with the smarts, athletics, and looks.  She's been friends with him though.  He's the kind of guy with girlfriends all the time, changing every week.  Sakura's had a crush on him also, but whenever they go out somewhere as friends, he blows her off for a date.  Finally, when Syaoran's longest girlfriend, the ever popular Masami dumps him, Syaoran looks to Sakura for help…

DISCLAIMER: Me no own CCS!  CLAMP does!  I only own my little character, Matt, cause I MADE him up!

Sakura sighed and shook her head as she pushed her way past the crowd of girls.  The soccer game had just ended and everyone was drooling over their star player, Li Syaoran.  It was no surprise really, everyone loved him.  Guys liked him as their friends, girls had crushes oh him.  Sakura finally came into view of him and waved her hand above the sea of girls.  "Syaoran, I have your bag," she called out and waved a bookbag over her head.

A boy with a girl on each arm shook them off and grinned back at Sakura.  His form was tall, slim, but strong.  His chestnut hair was soaked in sweat from the aftermath of the game, but apparently it didn't bother the girls who still were trying to get to him.  His eyes were a deep amber and they glanced over at Sakura's emerald eyes, "Oh, thanks Sakura," he said plainly and went back to talking with the crowd.

Sakura, a little disappointed that he didn't mention that they were going to see a movie together tomorrow pushed out of the crowd and caught up with another one of the soccer players, Matt.  "Hey, you guys did well today," she commented.

Matt brushed his light brown hair out if his face and grinned, "Thanks Kinomoto," 

Sakura nodded silently.  She did this every once in a while, going up to one of the other teammates to congratulate them, knowing they didn't get nearly as much attention as Syaoran.  She looked down at her watch and back to Matt, "Oh, I gotta go, I'll see you around," she told him and left the soccer field to head home.  It was late afternoon by now, but the sky was still light out, since it was the beginning of May.  It was particularly warm this year and Sakura quickly went home to get a drink of water.  After that she decided to do some homework.  That took a few hours, but soon after, she was bored again.  She decided to call Syaoran again and see if they were going to the movie.  Syaoran had been her friend since fourth grade and had always had girls swarming him.  She was used to him letting her down when they had plans.  It was always, "Oh, sorry Sakura, I have another date," But that was okay with her.  She knew Syaoran was busy.  She dialed his number on her pink cordless phone and leaned against a wall of her room as the other end rang.  Finally someone picked up.

"Hello, Li Syaoran speaking,"

"Hey Syaoran, its Sakura,"

"Oh, hey Sakura, what's up?"

"Remember on Monday we were talking about seeing a movie on Saturday?  Are we still going tomorrow?" Sakura asked and secretly crossed her fingers.

"Oh yeah, sure.  So, we're seeing that Kung fu flick right?" 

Sakura beamed, surprised that he remembered, "Yup.  So, how about we meet at the movie theatre at 1:00?"

"Sure.  Well I gotta go so I'll see you tomorrow," Syaoran quickly told her and hung up.

Sakura nodded and hung up also.  As soon as she did she jumped around excitedly.  She, like most of the other girls in school had also had a crush on Syaoran.  She somehow always imagined him liking her one day.  It would be perfect.  Besides, she hadn't talked to him much lately.  He spent a lot of time with his girlfriend, Masami.  

~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~

Sakura slept in late, until 12:00 when her brother, Toya woke her up to the sound of her alarm clock in her ear.  She never used that thing on weekends, and absolutely hated it, which gave her much reason for kicking him as a reflex as soon as she heard the ringing in her ear.  She rubbed her eyes and yawned, "Oy, why'd you do that?"

Toya who had been kicked in the leg bent over in retreat, "You kaiju…besides, aren't you supposed to go somewhere in an hour?"

Sakura checked her clock, "Wah!  Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

Toya shrugged and got up, "What?  You don't need an hour to change," he muttered and left the room.

Sakura shrugged and got up to pick out clothes.  It was another warm and sunny day, so Sakura picked out a dark blue skirt with thin flower print on it and a simple light blue tank top.  She changed and washed up, finally combing her hair.  After staring at herself in the mirror a few times, she approved and went downstairs for a quick meal.  

~~~~~ The movie theatre ~~~~~

Sakura happily made her way to the local theatre and sat down by one of the benches outside.  She checked her watch.  It was about five minutes to one.  _Wow, I'm actually early!_ She thought and grinned.  She had a reputation of being late for things and Syaoran was sure to tease her about it, knowing her for so long.  She watched patiently as groups of friends, couples, and just people stepped into the movie theatre.  Alone she sat, still patiently waiting, being completely optimistic.  _That's okay.  He has martial arts practice today.  Maybe he's just running late.  Besides, we're not missing anything.  By the time he comes they'll just be showing commercials, she thought hopefully.  But soon enough the crowd died down and the movie had probably begun.  Sakura checked her watch again.  I was now 1:15.  She waited still.  1:30.  Still nothing.  1:50.  Deserted.  Sakura bit her lip and her eyes watered slightly.  She blinked and a tear rolled down her milky white skin.  She quickly whipped it away and fidgeted with the ends of her skirt.  2:10.  Her cell phone rang.  Sakura, startled, answered it quickly.  It had to be Syaoran.  He probably had something really important and unexpected to do._

"Hello, Sakura speaking,"

"Oh, hey Sakura.  Uh, did you go to the theatre already?"

Sakura's face froze and she frowned, "Yeah,"

"Oh, I'm so sorry Sakura, I can't come today.  Listen, I'll call you later, okay?  Gomen nasai Sakura," Syaoran's voice trailed off before he hung up.

Sakura nodded silently and turned off her cell phone.  _I guess things haven't changed.  It's always like this.  Oh well, maybe we can see one tomorrow or something,_ she thought and got ready to leave.  But she didn't.  She stayed where she was, on the bench and closed her eyes. _ He's such a jerk,_ she finally concluded.  _Why should I always come last?  I'm always waiting for him, she cried to herself.  By now her head was burning with anger and sadness.  She shivered shakily, not because of the light breeze that had just passed.  Maybe because she had finally woken up to the reality of their 'friendship'.  "I thought you like me just enough to spend a little time with me.  I guess things have changed, right?  I'm always the last priority.  You never hear me.  I give up," she whispered under her breath.  She watched as people exited the movie theatre finally.  Voices were excitedly going over how amazing the stunts and affect were, how the bad guy looked really cool, and how a certain scene made them jump out of their seat.  Sakura looked down and sighed.  _Why am I still here?_ She asked herself and didn't answer._

"Uh, hey, Kinomoto," a voice greeted her from above.

Sakura looked up at the grey eyes staring down at her, "Uh, hi Matt,"

Matt took a seat next to her, "Oh, did you see the movie?"

Sakura sighed and shook her head, "Nah.  I was going to, but I had a…change of plans," she muttered.

Matt looked down, deciding not to say anything else.  "Oh, well… I'll see you around," he said and left.

Sakura nodded and soon after went back home.  She headed straight to her room but passed Toya on the way up.

"Hey, how was the movie?" he asked and stopped her.

Sakura put on a fake smile, "It was really good.  The plot was cool" she lied and without another word slipped into her room.

~~~~~ Monday at school ~~~~~

"Hey, did you ever go see that movie with Syaoran?' a girl with long dark hair asked as she took her seat by her desk.

Sakura sat down and slumped over the desk, "Tomoyo, can we not talk about it?"

Tomoyo sighed and nodded.  She had known Sakura was always being stood up by Syaoran and if she was correct, it had happened again.  But…it seemed different this time.  Maybe something more.  

~~~~~ Lunch ~~~~~

"Okay, spill the beans Sakura.  I know Syaoran didn't come, but there's something else.  I've known you long enough to sense it," Tomoyo told her best friend and sat down by a tree.

Sakura opened her lunch and unwrapped her chopsticks, "Listen, I'm over Syaoran," she whispered.

Tomoyo didn't say anything, waiting for Sakura to continue.

Sakura sighed, "You're too good at this Tomoyo.  Do I _have_ to be specific with details?"

Tomoyo still ate in silence, giving her the answer.

"Fine.  I'm tired of being stood up by him.  I guess he thinks of me as less than a friend now.  He's changed.  But that's fine with me.  I'm done with his game," Sakura muttered and stuffed a sushi roll into her mouth.

Tomoyo nodded and left the subject alone, changing it to thoughts about the citywide tests.  She had known that Sakura had a crush on him, but she wasn't sure if she should agree with her or not.

~~~~~ Syaoran's place ~~~~~

Syaoran dropped his bookbag onto his couch lazily and flopped down next to it.  He leaned towards the small glass corner table and picked up his phone and dialed.  

"Hello?" a female voice answered.

"Hey Masami," 

"Oh, Hi Syao, what's gong on?"

"Just making sure we're still going to that restaurant tonight,"

"Oh no!  I'm sooo sorry Syao, I made plans.  I'm going to the salon to get my nails done," the voice exclaimed excitedly.

Syaoran's happy expression dropped to disappointment, "You did?  Oh, well then I guess we'll go some other time," he mumbled.

"Okay, we will!  Luv ya Syao!" the voice said and then the phone clicked off.  

Syaoran hung up his phone and ran his hand through his messy hair.  He had been going out with Masami for almost a week now.  Usually girls didn't last that long with him and he would find someone new by the end of the week but Masami was different.  She was beautiful.  Already Syaoran was captivated by her and had been looking forward to another date.  "Well…I guess I could always try calling Sakura and see if she's doing anything," Syaoran muttered and dialed the phone again.

~~~~~ Sakura's house ~~~~~

*Ring ring*

"You get it Toya!" Sakura called and remained lying in the floor of her room, staring up at her blank ceiling.  She felt tired for no particular reason and didn't want to get up.

"It's for you kaiji.  The gaki's on the phone," Toya said with an annoyed tone.  He held out the phone, waiting for her to receive it.

Sakura continued to stare at the ceiling, "Toya, tell him I'm not here or something.  I really don't-" she started to tell him but was stopped as the phone was shoved to her ear.

"Hey Sakura," Syaoran's kind voice greeted her.

Sakura's eyes widened and she glared as Toya closed the door and went back downstairs.  She was about to tell him to go away but he interrupted her.

"Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go see that movie tomorrow.  You know, to make up for Saturday," Syaoran explained.

Sakura's face turned soft and she somehow couldn't control what come out of her mouth, "Really?  Sure.  So, I'll meet you at 6:00?"

"Sure.  I'll see you tomorrow," Syaoran said and hung up.

Sakura had a grin spreading on her face by now but as soon as she hung up clamped her hand over her mouth in deep regret.  _I'm so stupid!  I just fell in his trap again!  I'm easy prey!  Easy!  But maybe he's okay…I could have just been a little angry before… she added and closed her eyes.  __I can still cancel it.  But…_

~~~~~ The next day after school ~~~~~

"Syao!" a girl with long curly brown hair called from across the hallway.  She pushed past the other students in the crowded hallway and caught up with him.

"Hey Masami," Syaoran greeted her and turned around. 

"Listen, I've got the greatest news!  I'm free tonight!  So do you wanna go to dinner?" Masami suggested and hung onto his arm.

Syaoran opened his mouth to accept but caught sight of Sakura stepping out of a classroom.  _Oh shit!  I'm supposed to go with Sakura tonight!  But Masami…it's okay.  Sakura will understand.  That's why she's such a good friend.  I'll just go with Sakura some other time, he concluded to himself and opened his mouth again, "Sure.  So…I'll pick you up at 6:30, okay?"_

Masami eagerly nodded and then bounced off with some of her friends.  

Syaoran strolled through the hallways with his group of jock friends.  As he passed he smiled at the girls, making them all feel dizzy.  Normally, Sakura was fine with this and just ignored it, but today was different.  It was just plain sickening.  She really liked Syaoran but how he always did that was…disturbing.  Syaoran finally stopped at his locker and started to take the things he needed for homework.  Sakura had already finished and was about to leave when Syaoran stopped her.  Sakura waited, half annoyed because she was late for cheerleading and half delighted that he wanted to talk.

"Yeah Syaoran?" Sakura asked, curious about what he wanted.

"Oh Sakura, listen, I can't go to the movies with you tonight.  I've got some stuff to do," Syaoran explained, expecting her to understand.  And she 'understood'.  At least that's what it looked like.

"Oh," Sakura dully mumbled and looked down.  "That's okay.  Well…I'll see you later then," she added and waved a goodbye.  _What kind of a jerk is he?!  You always do this **Li.  You always make plans.  Probably plans with his stupid miss popular Masami!  I'm always last priority!  I'm through with you! **_she screamed silently.  Her hands were curved into fists and sweat beads rolled off her forehead in anger.  Instead of her usual cheerful self she was tomato red and kicked the door to the cheerleading area open forcefully, nearly knocking down a passing student.  

~~~~~ Sakura and Tomoyo ~~~~~

"He blew you off?!" fumed a very upset Tomoyo.

They were walking home from cheerleading practice and Sakura had just explained what had happened with Syaoran.

Sakura nodded, "I know!  That jerk Li thinks he's all cool and everything so he doesn't even think he has time to spend a little time with his old friends!" she hissed.

"So you're back to last name basis," she observed quietly and nodded her head in agreement.  She usually kept her calm and was used to Sakura being stood up but this was too much.  For once she actually showed how angry she was and it resulted in her muttering things about him under her breath every few seconds and major redness in the fists and face.  "What the _hell_ is wrong with him?" she enraged, even making Sakura feel a little pitiful for him…but only for a moment.

~~~~~ Syaoran and Masaki's date ~~~~~

The date started out with dinner at a very good oyster house by the beach.  It had gone relatively well, although several times Masami's gaze drifted to her nails and once at their waiter.  Syaoran didn't notice that though.  He was a happy man, not knowing what his girlfriend had in store for him or about two girls that were very mad at him for reasons he probably can't come up with, strange enough.  After the dinner they walked by the beach, the first couple of stars twinkling in the deep blue sky.  They stopped and sat down by the sand, much to Masami's displeasure.

"Ugh, this is sooo not good for my dress," she muttered and brushed a few grains of sand off her.  

Syaoran ignored the comment and grinned.  _I'm so lucky.  Really.  I've got the popular girl as my girlfriend and I don't have worry about grades of money.  What could be better than this? He asked himself, not being aware of what Masami was about to say._

"Listen Syaoran, I've been thinking and…this," she motioned to the two of them, "it isn't working okay?  Let's break up,"

Syaoran still had that grin plastered to his face, slowly taking in the information.  Finally it rushed into his brain and the smile instantly dropped to a large gap.  He stared dumbly at her, "What?  Why?"

Masami still had a calm look on her face but it only changed as she stared hatefully at a split end in her hair, "Oh, well I want something new.  Besides, it would be fun to go out with Dean again.  He's _such a good kisser!  I mean…reeeaaallly good,"_

Syaoran was still gaping at her but shook it off, "What?  But…but…" he stuttered and fell silent.  He sighed.  "I'll take you home," he told her and got up.

Masami eagerly got up and away from the sand and they went back to Syaoran's car.  They drove in silence and when they reached Masami's house she just bounced out and waved goodbye.  Syaoran didn't say anything to her.

The ride seemed to go on forever but finally Syaoran arrived back at his place and slowly headed for his room.  _I should call Sakura.  She'll know what to do, he decided and picked up the phone._

"Hello?"

"Hey, is this Sakura?" 

"Yeah, who's speaking?"

"Syaoran,"

"….."

"Uh ,listen, could you do me a favor…."

Authoress Note: …….so?  How was it?  Review!  Just click the little 'go' button under this!  Don't be lazy!!


	2. Repetition

"Hello?"

"Hey, is this Sakura?" 

"Yeah, who's speaking?"

"Syaoran,"

"….."

"Uh ,listen, could you do me a favor…."

I'll Save Myself

Chapter 2: Repetition

Disclaimer: I Don't own CCS, or the characters, but I do oven the characters that I made up, which are Masami and Dean, and I own this plot cause I made it up!

Sakura wasn't intimidated by Syaoran finally.  Her voice was dull, showing no anger, but no excitement either.  What did Syaoran want this time?  She listened to Syaoran's voice carefully, just wanting him to get to the point already.  When she found out what he wanted, she finally snapped.

"…tonight I broke up with Masami and I was wondering if you knew any good tips…like if you have some advice for me to make me feel better," Syaoran asked from the other end of the phone line.  His voice was very hopeful, knowing that Sakura was probably good with that kind of stuff.  

Sakura narrowed her eyes and sat up from her slouched position on her bed.  "Advice?" she mimicked him angrily, "Yeah, I have some!  Keep your freakin' promises!  If you make plans with someone, don't break them!  And I have one thing to say to you about Masami!  I don't care!" she screamed into the phone and threw the phone back onto the receiver, leaving Syaoran to listen to the beeping of disconnection.

_How could he be so calm about everything???  He doesn't even notice how everyone always makes exceptions for him.  He can always cancel something whenever he wants to, and we're supposed to be okay with it!!! _Sakura screamed in her mind as she lay back on her pillow again.  Right now she really felt the urge to rip it apart.  

Syaoran blinked and stared stupidly at his phone, recovering from the shock of Sakura yelling at him.  Her words echoed in his head, repeating over and over…_Sakura's mad at me, Masami broke up with me…what else will go wrong?_

~~~~~ Next day at school~~~~~

"Hey," Syaoran greeted a few girls as he stepped into first period.  He grinned at them, truly happy.  After staying up for half the night, Syaoran just decided that he would apologize to Sakura and everything would be fine.  She would probably understand…so he thought.  He took his seat in the back row of the class and waited for Sakura to arrive.  He didn't have to wait long; Sakura came running through the door right before the bell rang.  She sighed and headed for her seat as well.  Syaoran gave Sakura a small smile as she passed, only to receive, not a smile to mach his, but a glare that could burn a hole through the wall behind him.  _Whoa…guess she's still mad…maybe I need another plan,_ Syaoran thought and slouched back into his chair, trying not to anger Sakura even more.  Throughout the period, Syaoran continued to think about how to get Sakura to forgive him.  He didn't even notice when the teacher called on him.  

"Would _you please tell the class how to find the answer to number 6?" Ms. Strife asked in a polite but strict voice.  It was easy to tell that it was an order, not a request.  Waiting for Syaoran's response, she looked over the rim of her glasses and frowned.  "Li Syaoran?  Are you with us?  Do try your best to use your voice when you tell us the answer," she said sarcastically. _

The rest of the class turned to face Syaoran, all watching him as he dully stared off into space, oblivious to anything in the class.

"Okay then, Li Syaoran, you will stay in at three o'clock and have detention," Ms. Strife hissed, finally catching Syaoran's attention.  

"Huh?  Oh, what?  Detention?" Syaoran muttered, not sure what was happening. 

Sakura rolled her eyes and leaned over to the desk next to her, "That Li thinks he's good enough to ignore the teacher," she whispered to Tomoyo.  

Ms. Strife whipped around from facing the board to face Sakura, "Excuse me Kinomoto?  Did you have something to say?" she hissed, now very annoyed.

Sakura frowned and slowly spoke, "Um, no I was just helping a classmate with one of the proble-" she started to say but was interrupted.

"Don't play smart with me, you can join Li for detention this afternoon," Ms. Strife snapped and without another word continued with the class.

Sakura opened her mouth to say more, but closed it again, knowing that the best thing to do in this situation was stay quiet.  Suddenly her eyes widened as she thought of being stuck in detention with Syaoran, when the other day she had yelled at him.  The bell interrupted her thoughts, and she packed her bag quickly and got up to leave with Tomoyo.

"Li, Kinomoto, please see me for a moment," Ms. Strife called from the front of the room.

Sakura looked back and sighed, "I'll catch up later," she told her and walked back to the teacher, where Syaoran was also waiting.  

"For your rude behavior in class this morning, both of you will receive detention until 4:30 today.  I expect a two page report on why you shouldn't have acted like that on my desk by then.  I'll see you at three o'clock," Ms. Strife said and then gestured for them to leave.  

Sakura began to take the longer route to their next class, trying to avoid Syaoran, but Syaoran followed behind her.

"So I guess we'll be having detention together today.  That's a little different than our usual outing, isn't it?" Syaoran said with a grin.

Sakura turned a corner and pushed open a door leading to another corridor, "Actually, I don't think we've been out on any 'outings' in the last few months, so you can't really say that," she hissed and swung the door back

Syaoran easily held the door open, despite the forceful shove Sakura had given it in his direction.  He continued talking, "Well today will be a start, okay?" 

Sakura rolled her eyes and muttered something about it being too late to start over, before arriving at the room for science.

~~~~~ Three o'clock ~~~~~

The bell for last period rang, and students gradually left the building.  Sakura watched them from her seat next to the window in math class.  Syaoran still wasn't there.  The only noise was the clock ticking, the Sakura's pen scribbling her essay, and the continuous tapping against the table as Ms. Strife strummed her long fingernails, waiting impatiently for Syaoran to arrive.   

As the clock ticked to 3:05, Syaoran knocked at the door.  Sakura didn't even turn around, but Ms. Strife narrowed her eyes, "Come in," she boomed and stopped tapping her fingernails.  

The doorknob slowly turned, clicked, and opened, and Syaoran walked inside.  He then closed it again, and took his regular seat, a few rows behind Sakura.  

"Take a different seat," Ms. Strife simply told him, much to Sakura's favor.  She pointed her red nails to a desk on the complete opposite side of the room.

Syaoran got up again and took his assigned seat, and also began to write his essay.  

Time passed, and by four o'clock, they were both done with writing their essays.  Ms. Strife collected them, and sat back in her sat, reading them over.  "Hmm….make good use of yourselves.  Clap the erasers, wash and dry the board, and sweep the floor.  It's the janitor's day off today, so you substitute," she said and walked to the back of the room.  "Sponges are in the closet, you may use the water fountain to fill the bucket.  I'll be back at 4:30," she said and left them alone.  

Syaoran got up and opened the closet, picking up the sponges and bucket.  "Do you want to fill the bucket, or should I?" 

Sakura sighed and also got up, walking to the front of the board.  "You.  I'll clean the erasers," she dully said and picked up two chalky white erasers.  

Syaoran nodded and left the room to get the water, leaving Sakura alone.  Maybe she would survive this detention without having to talk to Syaoran.  Maybe.  There was _only half an hour left.  _30 minute left with Li Syaoran, and then I'm free,_ was the only thing that kept her mind off the choking smell of chalk rising as they were clapped out of the erasers.  _

Meanwhile, Syaoran went outside to fill the bucket in the water fountain by the soccer and cheerleading fields.  As he turned the corner, he saw Masami and some guy by the fountain.  Syaoran paused, but continued his trip to the water fountain.  

Masami stopped talking, and waved at Syaoran, 'Oh, hello Syao!  This is my new boyfriend, well, you know him already," She gestured towards the boy next to her, and batted her eyelashes.

Syaoran kept a straight face and nodded.  He knew him alright; it was Dean, captian of the basketball team.  He was also a senior.  "That's _nice_," 

Dean nodded and ran his hand through his jet black hair, much like how Syaoran did.  "Hey, what's up?" he asked and flashed a smile at Masami.

Syaoran frowned and gestured to the bucket.  "Getting some water," he muttered.

Masami nodded, "Oh, I hope you're not mad about our breakup or anything.  I mean, you have a new girlfriend too, right?" 

Syaoran held in his breath.  _Oh great, now she's teasing me because I don't have a girlfriend.  Well no, she's not smart enough to figure that out.  She probably assumes I really have a girlfriend again! Syaoran thought quickly.  He shifted his weight to his other foot, and nodded, "Yeah, I'm not mad, I've got a girlfriend too," he muttered.  _

Masami grinned, "That's good.  Oh, who is she?"

Syaoran bit his lip, "Uh, who's who?"

Masami giggled, "Your new girlfriend silly," 

Syaoran continued to bite his lip even harder, and one word came out of his mouth, "Sakura," 

Masami grinned, "Really?  That's nice.  Oh, well we should get going, we have a date.  See you around," she said and waved once more before leaving with Dean.  

Syaoran nodded dumbly and filled the bucket.  On the way back to the room his head pondered with dozen of thoughts and questions.   _Now what?  What will I tell Sakura?  Why didn't I say someone else?  Any girl would die to be my girlfriend, but Sakura's still mad at me…she'll never agree to this.  What can I do?!?!_ He asked himself until he found himself back in the room, where Sakura was still clapping the erasers.

Sakura glanced towards him, emotionlessly, before returning to her work.  Syaoran placed the bucket on the floor by the board, and started to wash it.  As he edged closer to the side where Sakura was, he calmly started a conversation.  "So Sakura…I'm sorry about the other day,"

Sakura snorted and continued clapping.

"Uh, and I was wondering if there was anything I could do to make it up to you.  Really.  Anything," Syaoran said truthfully.

Sakura stopped clapping and turned towards him slowly.  "Oh, now you're sorry?  Huh?  Now you are?  Well to bad for you," she hissed and threw one of the erasers she hadn't cleaned yet at Syaoran, hitting him in the front of his shirt, marking the spot with a white rectangular shape.

She moved closer to him with two more erasers, and slammed them against the sides of him head.  "Well you know what?  Actualy, there is something you can do.  **Stay away from me forever!" She hissed and stared into his eyes.  **

Syaoran flinched, but suddenly a single thought came to mind.  "Okay Sakura, but you have to pretend to be my girlfriend.  Then, I'll stay away from you,"

Sakura blinked, "No thank you, I don't accept,"

Syaoran went back to washing the board, "Fine, then I guess you're stuck with me forever," he said casually.  Deep inside him, he knew he had her cornered, and she would have to accept.  

Sakura watched him, angrily.  "Fine," she muttered after a minute.  

Syaoran grinned and handed her a sponge.  "Good.  Now help me wash the board, and then we'll sweep the floor," 

Authoresses note: Ooh, Syaoran's smart, eh?  Hehehe, anyways review!!!


	3. Get Away

I'll Save Myself

Chapter 3: Get Away

Authoresses note:  ::sighz:: I've been soooooo distracted lately.  School…my GPA went down by .6 to a 95.8!  Duuude…that's still a really good grade but…I got 85 in math!!!  Ewww….and school's not the only thing distracting me…too much stuff to do nowadays.  But now we have mid-winter break!  Finally!!! It's here!  (yeah, both the break and the chapter -_-…two in one for me!)  Finally I've gotten to this…wait no longer!

DISCLAIMER: CLAMP owns these characters…not me, unfortunately.  Cause…I never played the New York's mega millions lotto.  Hahaha, nope, I'm not even old enough for that.  Anyways, story time!

"He what?!" a voice squealed from behind a rack of videos.  Tomoyo stepped aside from them, holding two videos in her hands.  They looked like romantic comedies.

"Yup, that's what he did," Sakura sighed, coming out from behind another row, joining Tomoyo, also holding two videos.  Unlike hers though, they looked like action movies.

Tomoyo grinned evilly, "This is sooo cool Sakura!  I mean, I want to kill Syaoran for being so mean to you, but this is just like those romance movies…and that's why I found this!" she exclaimed happily, shoving one of her selected movies under Sakura's nose.

Sakura rolled her eyes teasingly, and scanned over the blurb, "Nice girl Francesca gets herself caught as the popular boy, Brian's girlfriend due to a bet," she started to read out loud, but stopped before the end of the sentence.  "This is sooooo cheesy," she added, and put it back on the shelf.

Glaring playfully, Tomoyo snatched it back and returned it to her arms protectively.  "Too bad, we're watching it.  Besides, you have any other suggestions?" 

Sakura nodded, as if she already had a presentation to show, "Yup, let's watch this one!  Shadows in the Twilight," she explained, holding it out for Tomoyo.

Tomoyo giggled, "Okay then…in the high tech city of blah blah blah," she substituted the words she felt she needed to change, "Dr. X had only blah blah blah until the end comes for blah blah blah twilight," she muttered, grinning.  Watching as Sakura pouted, she sighed, "fine, how 'bout you get this and I get 'Bound by Dare'," she suggested, holding up her romance movie.  

Sakura nodded in agreement.  "Okay then.  Now let's head back to your house!"

The two girls nodded and quickly paid the video guy.  As they stepped outside, the blaring sun shined against their face in the warm afternoon.  Sakura grinned.  At least this was something good to do, going over to Tomoyo's house was always fun.  At least it might take her mind off of Li Syaoran for a while.  Sakura's smile quickly hardened into a solid frown at the thought.  She hated him.  He was a dumb, arrogant, selfish, annoying boy.  He should have never meant anything to her.

Tomoyo giggled at her friend's expression, "Hehe, I think I can guess what you just thought of," she said, showing her skills from being Sakura's friend so long had produced.

"Yeah," Sakura snorted under her breath.  "So which movie ya wanna watch next?"

"You really wanna let me choose?" Tomoyo laughed and nodded towards the romance movie.

"Erg…" Sakura raised an eyebrow at the video.  "Gee, what a…odd name, 'Bound by Dare'" she mocked.  She dragged her wooden clogs against the cement pavement, listening to the steady rapping noise it made.

"Fine, how bout this?" Tomoyo suggested, "Wanna go to Chiharu's party?" she proposed.  "I mean, she said if we changed our minds we could just come," she remembered, recalling Chiharu's invitation for later that day.

Sakura shrugged, "Okay, why not?" she agreed, then added with a grin, "Better that watching, 'Bound by Dare'"

Tomoyo pouted childishly, "Aw…we'll save that for tomorrow," she joked.  "Besides, you need this.  It'll relax your soul," she laughed and exhaled slowly, in a mocking manner.

Sakura laughed too, for she had to agree.  A party would definitely take away all her tension.  "Okay, let's go!"

~~~~~ An hour later ~~~~~

By the time Sakura and Tomoyo has changed…or should it be phrased, 'By the time Tomoyo had finished picking an outfit for Sakura,' the sun was dipping behind the trees, tinting everything orangy-red.  Without the sun to reflect on it though, Sakura was already wearing quite those shades.  She wore a simple light orange top with loose baggy sleeves only three quarter length long and a pair of blue jeans with leaves embroidered on the pockets.  Tomoyo on the other hand chose a lavender tank top with a matching skirt that reached just above her ankles. (yeah, I just felt like adding these descriptions for once)  Sakura could already hear some voices from behind the front door.  She knocked against its white paint twice, and stepped back.

"Hi!" Chiharu cheerfully greeted the two, swinging open the door for them.  Behind her were a dozen people, all chatting away happily, J-pop playing in the background.  "Come on in," she said as they stepped inside.

Sakura followed Tomoyo, looking around.  There were actually more than a dozen people there, and a few that she wasn't familiar with.  Noticing that Tomoyo had drifted away from where they had been standing, Sakura stumbled over to catch up as they joined two boys.  

"Hey Eri," Tomoyo kissed one of the boys, Eriol on the cheek.  Eriol was her kind boyfriend, who Sakura knew very well, but she didn't recognize the other boy.

"Hey Tomo, Sakura," he nodded in greeting.  "Do you know my friend here?  He's in class C-10," he explained, gesturing to the other boy.

The boy smiled, directing it more at Sakura.  "I haven't met you before…Sakura?" he held his hand out to Sakura, shaking his black hair out of his eyes, to reveal deep blue orbs.

Sakura grinned childishly and shook his hand, "You too…what's your name?"

"Akira," the boy added.  "Uh, do you want a drink?  I can get us some punch or something," he suggested and turned towards the food table, stacked with small treats.  

Sakura grinned, "Su-"she started to agree, but for some reason stopped herself.  She had a deal with Syaoran, no matter how much she regretted it.  "Sorry, but no thanks.  I'm not-hungry or thirsty," she muttered dully, and waved goodbye to him.  "I'll see you around though," she added and quickly squeezed into a conversation with Chiharu and her boyfriend Yamazaki.

"Gee, I really shouldn't have invited Masami," Chiharu was muttering.  She had one eye on Masami as she looked around Chiharu's living room with obviously her new boyfriend.  "She's popular, but I don't really trust her,"

Sakura sweatdropped, "Neither do I.  Why did you invite her?"

"Syaoran.  The only reason was because they're- well, they _were_ going out.  Syaoran has convinced me she would be good.  But they're not even going out anymore," Chiharu rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, good 'ol Chiharu, can't un-invite anyone," Yamazaki patted Chiharu on her head.  "Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on her," he grinned.

"Hah, no you won't, you're keeping your eyes to yourself," Chiharu shot back playfully, taking hold of Yamazaki's ear in warning.

Changing the subject, Yamazaki turned to Sakura.  "What's up?"

"Oh, I dunno.  I didn't have anyone to talk to," Sakura explained.

"I thought you were talking to Akira," Chiharu asked.  "You know, we could match you two up.  You'd make a great couple," Chiharu suggested.

Sakura shrugged and folded her arms.  "Yeah, but just…" she trailed off.  She couldn't tell Chiharu about Syaoran, even if she wanted.  It would just be too complicated…

"Aww, come on Sakura.  You need to loosen up!" Chiharu coaxed, once she saw how Sakura seemed to be thinking.  She pushed her forward gently.

Sakura sighed, "Fine, I'll go," she gave in.  Sakura slowly re-approached Akira who was saying something to Eriol.  "Ahem, hey Akira,"

Akira smiled slightly, "Hey Sakura.  Change your mind?"

"Yeah, I have.  Let's get something to eat," Sakura agreed.  The two headed for the food table, Akira starting the conversation. 

"So uh, I'm Akira Han, and like Eriol said before, I'm in class C-10…" he began.

Sakura nodded along, while selecting some grapes and crackers on her napkin.  The two then found a seat in the backyard, sitting in two porch chairs.  "It's so nice to get out, especially on a night like this," Sakura commented.  She looked around, taking in the calm surroundings of that evening.  Sitting in her friend's backyard, at a cool party, talking with a cute boy, everything seemed fine at that point.

"You don't get out much?" Akira suggested.

"Nah, I do…it's just…if I'm out, I always have to worry about my overprotective brother coming along to ruin it," Sakura glared at the thought of past experiences.  Hearing Akira laugh at that, Sakura felt her cheeks heat up slightly.  "That amusing?"

Akira grinned and picked up a chip, "Yeah, kinda.  I'm kind of the overprotective one of my younger sister too," he admitted.  "No creep's gonna get to her.  No one at all for that matter," he joked.

"I feel pity for her," Sakura playfully glared.  "My brother's name is Toya…one time, I think it was lat year, I went out with Tomoyo, and Meilin to a movie, and they had brought their boyfriends, so…" Sakura started telling a story to Akira.  Akira was a patient listener, and he agreed with her…he…he had _time_ for her.  Unlike Syaoran- or _Li _as Sakura would address him now.  If only she could have stayed like that forever, just talking with Akira, everything would have been fine.  But suddenly she was interrupted.

"Ahem,"

Sakura felt a tap on her shoulder, and Sakura turned, thinking it was probably just Tomoyo or something.  Maybe some other girl who wanted to be the lucky one catching Akira's interest.  That all would have been acceptable.  What she couldn't accept was coming face to face with the daring amber eyes of Li Syaoran.

"Hey _Kura__," _he greeted sweetly, but the words seemed more like sour milk to Sakura.  Especially that he had used her nickname, used only by her friends.

Sakura's smile dropped when Syaoran's face came into view.  Quickly she plastered a fake one on her, and looked Syaoran in the eye.  "Hello, Li," she replied stiffly.

"Hey…Akira is it?" Syaoran nodded towards Akira, then back at Sakura with what she only knew as a smirk.

Sakura opened her mouth to try and get either Syaoran or Akira to leave…any of them before Syaoran did anything to embarrass her.  Unfortunately though, she was interrupted again.

"Oh, hi Syaoran!" a way to cheerful voice called from behind them.  Masami skipped over to the group, dragging her boyfriend Dean along side her.  She came to a stop in front of Sakura and Syaoran, waving at the two.  "Aw, you two really are a cute couple!" she squealed in such a high pitched voice, it could have turned the beautiful backyard into a polluted swamp.  Sakura would have just called her then ferret of it.  Even Syaoran had to admit, when he had been dating her, he must have gone tone deaf to stay sane with her.  But thanks to Masami, Syaoran didn't even have to try and ruin Sakura's conversation.  He stood aside, letting Masami talk.  "Let's get a picture of you two!" Masami suggested and waved Akira to the side.

"Sure," Syaoran agreed, and pulled Sakura closer to Masami's disposable camera.  "Say cheese," he whispered before the flash.

Sakura still held that fake smile as Masami took the pictures.  Then she started making Syaoran take pictures of her and Dean.

Sakura inched away, towards a quiet Akira.  "Uh, this is interesting, right?"

"Yeah, it somewhat is.  So you're going out with Syaoran?" Akira asked calmly, not sounding like he was disappointed or angry that Sakura hadn't said so.  At that point though, Sakura kind of wished he _was _bothered by it.

"…Yeah, we are…" Sakura said and scratched her head thinking of conversation once again.

"Heh, well from what you started telling me about your brother, I hope Syaoran ends up okay," Akira joked lightly.  "You should finish telling me that story sometime," he suggested.

  "Ooh, now one of us two girls!" Masami pushed between Sakura and Akira.  She shoved the camera to Akira who watched with Dean on the side.  Masami carefully ran her hands through her wavy elbow-length dark brown hair as she checked for knots.  She stood next to Sakura and smiled into the camera.

"Oh, this is great," Sakura remarked, trying to make her voice sound authentic.  Once Masami had finished her 'photo-op' spree, Sakura was going to have a nice talk with Syaoran.  Really, this was just what she needed.  A picture with the guy she hated and another picture with the ditz he had dated.  And another thing, it was being taken by the coolest, most sweet, interesting guy she had just met.  And he thought she had a boyfriend already.  Really, the night couldn't get better. 

Authoresses note: Done!  For now anyways…Hehehe, did you notice this?  I did just now: I rhymed!  I said: A picture with the guy she **hated** and another picture with the ditz he had **dated**.  Ooh, coolness! -_-;;; Okies…reviews please!  


	4. When I Pretend

**I'll Save Myself**

****

**Chapter 4: When I Pretend**

Authoresses Note: Okaaayyy…when you click to this chapter, if you notice the length of it your face will probably look like a combination of: O.O   T.T  -;;   .  =( and =# eheheh…if you reach my expectations. =P  Yes, this must be my shortest chapter in like…forever! (but Transformations chapter 6 was barely 1000 -- check it out! ) Chapter 1 was 3102 words, chapter 2 2036, chapter 3 2203 words!  And this one is currently 1550 words, including my blabbing.  ::gasp:: Yeah, I'm rubbing it in… TT.TT I just wanted to get a new chapter out, and by the end of this one, I said all I wanted to say in this chapter.  This chapter is just about our two sacred characters and barely anything else…simple.  And I'm having humor block.  I find my chapters having less and less humor in them!  Nooooo….and it's summer break, shouldn't that spark funny stuff?  O wellz…it'll come back…maybe.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own anything except plot.  All hail CLAMP, ppl who do own CCS and stuff. =P

** This chapter is dedicated to Koko, my cat.  She passed away this Friday morning.  We all love her =) and she'll be flying around in cat heaven with our other two cats.  She's so sweet…**

"Really, you two are going out?"

Sakura glanced downward, directing her interest in the dirt.  By this time, she had at least reached a level where she didn't kick Syaoran, smack his head, or punch his shoulder because of his blabbing.  At least not until the conversation was over.

"Yeah, we are," Syaoran agreed, and grinned at Sakura.  To only Sakura's eyes did it read: _Right?_ In a mocking sense.

The girl Syaoran was talking to continued, "I always knew there was something about you two.  You're close friends too, aren't you?" Sakura bit her lip, but nodded.  The girl wasn't waiting for an answer either way.  "It's like a perfect match," she drifted off.

Syaoran laughed.  "Maybe," That answer was more decent than the others he could have possibly said.  No _Of course_ or _did you only realize that now?_ Came, and Sakura was thankful for that.  Syaoran's pet peeve was definitely being conceited.  "Well I'll see you around," Syaoran finally ended the conversation, dragging Sakura with him.

As soon as they were further away, Sakura stepped on Syaoran's shoe 'accidentally'.  "Die you." she flatly said.

Syaoran winced a little, but shrugged.  "Only for money."

Rolling her eyes a little, Sakura let it go.  It was morning, and she didn't feel like much arguing.  Syaoran had dropped by her house in the morning to escort her to school, so the terror had begun way before homeroom.

"Wanna hold hands?"

Sakura blushed.  "Fingers."

"Huh?" Syaoran blinked.  Sakura always confused him like this.

"Lets just…link fingers, okay?" Sakura muttered.  It sounded stupid even to her own ears, but she had already said it.  "You might get to hold my hand eventually though," she added, for no sane reason in her mind.  _I just wasn't in the mood to argue against Syaoran._ Sakura tried to silently explain to herself.

Syaoran nodded in agreement.  "Okay then," and their index fingers loosely wrapped against each other.  They continued walking down the path to the school building.

Next afternoon (after school)

Again, Syaoran walked with Sakura.  These days it seemed like he was everywhere.  In the morning he would stand outside and wait to go to school with her.  All day he was in her classes.  Lunch they were in a big group, Sakura and Syaoran both sucked into it.  Afternoons he walked her home.  So this was where they were now, afternoon.  "I don't wanna go home yet," Sakura remarked.  She nodded Syaoran to turn to their right instead of continuing on straight.

Syaoran turned, and looked at Sakura.  "How come?"

"I just don't feel like it." Sakura sighed a little.  _I don't want you to leave yet._ Her mind suggested.  No, why would that be if she saw him all day?

"That's fine.  I know what that's like sometimes." Syaoran added.  They found themselves standing in the old Penguin Park.

Sakura walked straight to the big Penguin slide, and climbed up it.  She disappeared into the little compartment on the top that connected the slide and steps, like a tunnel.  Then came out through the slide.  Then she went up the slide again, but didn't reappear on the slide.  Instead her head poked out from the compartment.  She inquired, "Do you?"

Syaoran raised and eyebrow.  "What?" he stood by the steps going to the top of the slide.

"Do you really feel like that?" Sakura repeated.

Syaoran climbed halfway up the steps, so he was almost at the height of Sakura.  "You don't think I feel like that every once in a while?"

Getting a little uncomfortable now, Sakura shifted.  "Actually, no I don't.  How could you feel that way when you're the type who runs around with a new girl all the time?" she glared a little.  "I just can't see how that type of person could understand anything else, or feel anything else." The words slid out slowly.

Syaoran drew in his breath.  "Well I can't give you the explanation you want then.  All I know is that what I do doesn't make a happy person."

"Then why do you do it?"

Now it was Syaoran's turn to be uncomfortable.  "I don't know.  But I just…feel like being alone from everything sometimes." He muttered.

Sakura looked away, with nothing left to say.  It was like something was broken though, and at the same time something made.  This was the first time in a while that Sakura had seen anthing about Syaoran deeper.  The first time in a while she saw something she could really still like him for.

"Maybe I should go then." Sakura decided.  "I guess you can feel that way,"

"Nah, don't go.  Besides, you don't want to go home yet, right?" Syaoran raised an eyebrow.

Sakura shrugged.  "I guess not." She moved over for Syaoran to sit on the edge of the tunnel, while she moved further down, in front of the slide entrance.  "Do you remember here?"

Syaoran nodded, "Yeah, kinda.  I don't go here much anymore,"

"What did we do in this park?"

"Pop quiz, eh?" Syaoran grinned.  "Uh…you fell off the swings once." He smirked.

Sakura pouted.  "That hurt," she added.  "But you also climbed up this slide, to go to the top.  Remember your soccer ball somehow got suck in the crown."

Syaoran laughed.  "What, I had good aim."

"Suuure," Sakura sarcastically agreed.  She laughed.  "You had said you were aiming for the see saws-"

Syaoran pushed Sakura, knocking her into the slide, and down she went.  "Phweeee!" Sakura screamed, sent down the slide sideways.  She glared back up at the top of the side.  "You're going to die Li Syaoran!" she yelled to him.

And then a calm reply came back from the darkness in the tunnel: "Only for money."

Sakura practically started a hot springs with her fuming.  "Li Syaoran!"

And then from the tunnel Syaoran emerged, headed straight down the slide, right into Sakura.  "You called?"

"Hoeeee!" Sakura bugged out.  Syaoran was right behind her, and… "Get offa me!" she squealed.

Syaoran laughed, and rubbed his head.  His messy hair folded over on different sides, without a care.  "Don't scare the little kids,"

"Syaoran, that's it exactly!  Don't sit in…a chuchu train…" she mumbled and poked her fingers together, "kids are gonna get freaked out…" she mumbled more, the drifted off.  "Oh, come on Syaoran, get up," She pulled him up with more strength than what she looked she had.

"Where to now?" Syaoran linked fingers with Sakura again, and they left the park.

They walked along the sidewalk, filtered with the 4:00 sun.  "I'm going home.  I'm tired now."

Syaoran nodded.  "Okay."

They mostly walked in silence, but then Sakura broke it.  "Uh, why do you keep gloating to people that we're 'going out'?"

Syaoran smirked and simply said, "Cause I feel like it."

Sakura laughed.  "Greeaat.  But then when it's over, then you're gonna be the one to clear it up again."

"Aww…" Syaoran put his other hand in his pocket casually, "who says it's going to end?"

"Me." Sakura stated at once.  "As soon as you get out of that problem with Masami." She confirmed.  "Promise me you'll leave me alone after that?"

Syaoran shrugged.  "I…guess." Then tried to add, "Only for mone-"

"Shutup."

"Only fo-"

**Punch**

Went Sakura's fist on Syaoran's arm.

"Oww…" Syaoran rubbed his arm, and held it up to inspect damage.  "Where'd you get so strong?"

"You know, cheerleading does take good physical skills." Sakura remarked.  She grinned, flexing her arm.

They now reached Sakura's house.  It looked brighter than the rest of the world that day, after so many things Sakura was thinking about.  "See you tomorrow," she waved.

Syaoran winked, before leaving her.  _Conceited._  Her mind printed.  Sakura rolled her eyes again, and turned the key in the door.  As she went inside, she thought, _We're__ going out._ She ran the idea over in her mind again, then smiled.  _Me and Li Syaoran are going out._ It felt good.


	5. Scribbles in the Margin

**I'll Save Myself**

**Chapter 5: Scribbles in the Margin**

**By AutumnIllusion**

**Authoress' Note: **Alright, it's finally here! I never thought it'd take so long to update this...TT.TT I've been busy and un-motivated, haha. But I think this came out decently, in result. I went into hibernation ::took 2-3 hour naps everyday after school:: but now...I'm trying. Happy Halloween! (I'd like to point out that 2 of my teachers gave us this homework: bring them back a piece of out trick or treating candy)

**DISCLAIMER**: I dun own CCS cause CLAMP does...yeah. And there's a tiny snippet of a song called _When I'm with You_ by Simple Plan, so credits to them. Oooh, trick or treaters!

Trick or treaters: Trick or treat!

Me: Yay, lets get sugar high! P ::tosses everyone lil mini Syaoran candies::

Somehow, the next few days seemed brighter than before. Each step Sakura took sprung into the next, without doubt that life was okay. Just okay, but that was all she needed. Finally Sakura had lifted the burden of Syaoran off her back. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Even if it would fleet the next moment, she took what was here now, and that was Syaoran.

"Kura, you seem relaxed today,"

Resting her palms behind her head, the emerald eyed girl slipped on a smile. "Mhhmm."

Next to her, Tomoyo laughed a little, relieved to see her friend more spirited. She looked back down at the book seated before her. A second later though, she turned her attention to Sakura again. "Is there something I don't know?"

Replying to this, Sakura sat up, shrugging. "Not in particular." She paused, thinking it over. "What'd you want to know?"

"You seem...happier today."

"Well," Sakura scratched her head sleepily, then continued, "Syaoran doesn't seem _so_ bad right now..." with that idea, she trailed off.

Tomoyo stuck out her tongue playfully. Sakura really couldn't hold a grudge against anything for very long. At least she seemed at peace with the situation now. "Okay...?"

"Yeah, so—"Sakura took a glance at her watch. Her eyes swirled, noticing she was— "Late!"

Tomoyo tried to cover her giggles as she watched Sakura scramble up, only to grab her bag which was open, making her possessions tumble out onto the ground. She then quickly pivoted back, dumping it back together. "I'm late! I gotta get to work!"

Tomoyo was about to get up and help her friend, when Syaoran stepped in unnoticeably.

"You're late?" he held a genuine grin.

"Yeah, yeah," Sakura zipped her bag, then tossed it over her shoulder, only paying half of her attention. "Oh, hey Syaoran."

"Back to the first name basis?" Tomoyo couldn't help but mention, in a voice soft enough only for herself to hear. "So much for relaxed," she sweatdropped, seeing Sakura dash off. "See you tomorrow Sakura!" she waved.

Syaoran stood, also watching the cloud of dust pile up on the fire blazed trail Sakura had created in her sprint. "Eheheheh..." he ran a hand through his hair, letting the breeze settle it for him.

Tomoyo smiled, watching the scene. Things didn't seem bad at all.

...**Later...**

Syaoran was enjoying the neighborhood.

At this point, he simply walked down the sidewalks, listening to the rustling of the trees that lined up beside him. Hands stuffed in pockets, headphones buzzing at his neck, gum in the mouth, he was quite satisfied with himself.

_Pop_

He pressed his gum into a bubble, then snatched it back into his mouth. At least things seemed to be under control. Masami seemed to have fallen for his lies, and Sakura wasn't going through her daily routine of using him as her substituted punching bag. With all of this finally moving to the back of his thoughts, he pushed forward the words foaming through his headphones.

_I'm taking my time_

_I'm trying to leave the memories of you behind_

_I'm gonna be fine_

_As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind_

"OOF!"

Too bad that when he turned the corner, he didn't see a Sakura-like blur headed straight for him at a quick pace.

It would have saved him his CD player.

"Oh, gomen..." Sakura sat on her behind, hands in fists on the ground. In one of them, she tightly clenched a piece of looseleaf, now wrinkled from her grip. She looked up in search of the object she had collided with, to find herself parallel with Syaoran, who also sat on the ground. "Syaoran!"

Biting his lip in disbelief of his silenced CD player, Syaoran looked up only when his name was called...in a typically frustrated tone.

"You bumped into me, ne?"

"Oh," Syaoran pushed himself up to full length, then extended a hand to Sakura. "Sorry."

"..." one blink...two blinks...Sakura looked away and gently pushed Syaoran's gesture back. "That's alright." She stood up, hand still holding the paper behind her back. "Oh! I broke your CD pla-"

"No, it's fine."

Sakura's face fell unnoticeably, Syaoran shrugging as he looked over the broken electronic in his hands. "No, really...I can get you another one!" she blurted out suddenly, although as soon as the words came out, her thoughts bit back at her angrily.

"Oh?" The two started walking again, Syaoran a few steps ahead of Sakura. They stopped by a crosswalk, waiting for the cars to pass in front of them. In the tattered shade that the trees provided, Syaoran ruffled his hair in relief for the coolness. "Nah, don't." He turned, shining a grin towards Sakura, where she stood with hands clasped around the paper, still. "I've caused you enough trouble already, haven't I?"

Before waiting for an answer, Syaoran looked back at the crossing light, now beaming the signal for them to continue walking. Behind him, Sakura fought down her thoughts. A...second chance? Was this invevitable? To fall in love with him all over again, even when he was just so good at leading people on?

"I—I had been looking for you." Sakura said, hoping to sound calm. "When we bumped into each other."

"Hmm?" was the reply from Syaoran's back. The sun shone overhead, threatening to beam down even harder if Sakura did not continue what she had started.

"I wanted to..._talk_." Now the two stood side by side, passing through the main street of the neighborhood. Sakura tugged at Syaoran's arm, leading him inside an ice cream parlor.

"Oh, sure Sakura."

Seating themselves at a table for two by the front window, Sakura slipped the piece of paper in front of her. "I—"It was a list Sakura had made the night before. In a confused rage of emotion focused on the whole situation with Syaoran unraveling, she had restlessly sat down before her desk and written. The result had been a list of rules for the whole deal. She thought that it might have handled this better than what had already happened.

_I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you _

_I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to _

_But everytime I call you don't have time _

_I guess I'll never get to call you mine  
_

The paper was littered with statements such as "_No bragging—since it's a lie_" and "_Don't come by my house without warning_" Now Sakura felt quite foolish at these little bullets.

"I—wanted to set down some 'rules' for this whole _thing_." She poked at a chunk of ice cream in her glass. It slowly dripped downward, waiting. "But...I guess...just forget it."

There was a passing silence, neither enjoyable or uncomfortable. Then Syaoran nodded. "Uh, okay Sakura...thanks, or whatever that means." He set down his can of soda, the faint _splish _of it's contents responding. "Listen, am I that...bad?" Syaoran inquired.

"Oh..." emerald eyes looked down, concentrating on the food before her instead. "It's just..."

"If it's really-"Syaoran smiled a little, looking out the window. In it's reflection, he still kept an eye on Sakura's lingering eyes. "-bothering you that much, then you don't have to—"

"No, Syaoran, it's okay. Really." Syaoran's words were interrupted by Sakura's rushed voice. She paused, correcting herself to a slower pace. "You're not too boring to hang around with. For now." She found herself meeting Syaoran's eyes in the window. "Just forget this whole list thing, okay?" she lifted the paper off the table and out of sight. She placed it over her lap, crumbling it in her fists delicately.

Syaoran also crumpled up something, his offer. His offer to set Sakura free of the whole deal he had engaged her in. The one he had thought she looked at so bitterly. But now it seemed different. "Yeah, alright Sakura."

... **School ...**

"Hey, give it back!"

Syaoran smirked, his eyes shining in triumph. "Nope." He simply responded to Sakura's pleads.

"But I gotta do my homework!" Came Sakura's pout again, as she extended her hand above her head for the umpteenth time. She had been attempting to take back the notebook that Syaoran had picked up from in front of her.

They had been sitting in the cafeteria, and Sakura was working on the task of everyone's _favorite_ pastime: math homework.

"Gimme back my book, I need it!" Sakura stuck out her tongue.

"Sure," Syaoran said sarcastically. "_Your book_," he shook his head as if he was a disapproving grown up, "yes, your book with my name all over it."

"Pheee..." Sakura twitched, holding back a major sweatdrop. Yes, that was just an expression... Lucky for him he didn't actually know all her notebooks _did_ have his name all over it, literally...

**_Syaoran Li _** with a heart dotting the "i"

That is, up until the mad rage she had stampeded through. Yes, the one when she took the kitchen matches and burned her notebooks. Too bad she had lost all her notes and had to copy them all again from Tomoyo.

"Oh, come on...please?" Sakura gave up on trying to outreach Syaoran, setting her focus to the sandwich on her tray. "Just a minute?"

"Nope, Sakura, you gotta figure it out on your own." Slipping his notebook back into his bag, Syaoran sat down beside her and Eriol. For a minute or two, they went back and forth in conversation, Sakura finally working on her homework. Still, time after time she would stop and listen to his voice.

"Remember back in the days, when we were in elementary school?" Sakura inquired slowly, joining conversation again. "We used _help _each other out with our homew—"

"Hmm?" Syaoran's voice broke trough Sakura's stroll down memory lane. He turned his head to face Sakura again. "I don't remember really..."

Back to Eriol it was. Sakura nodded in neutral response, her head bobbing in echoes, dull and pretending. "Yeah..." she murmured to herself... "You don't remember..." she agreed in repetition, mostly to herself. Good thing she hadn't said more, about really how close and how long they had been such good friends. Had he moved so far ahead?

"Hmph..." Sakura shrugged. She stood up from her bench, taking her tray and notebook with her. "Fine then, I'll go to another table. I can't figure out anything with all you guys around," she joked. She held a sweet smile, but her eyes longed to stay beside her friends, beside Syaoran. Quickly turning on her heel, she searched for an empty table...

Finding one, Sakura placed her tray in front of her, notebook to her side. She flipped to the newest page in her notebook, writing her name at the top absentmindedly.

_Syaoran had forgotten those days, long ago._

_Yet, I haven't. How could I?_

_Is it that the whole world and everyone else is spinning around me in a blur, while I stand still? Maybe so..._

Finding herself overwhelmed in depressing thoughts, she regained full conscience only to find her notebook page reading:

**_Sakura Li_**

"What the hell?" Sakura blankly stared at the formation her pen ink had spotted over her notebook. Her blank, dazed look wheeled into a frown, and she crossed out her name furiously. This time she would get it right, for sure...

_**Sakura Kino—**_

"Hey Kinomoto-san."

Sakura looked up from her book to see a faintly familiar face glaring right at her.

"Oh...hi..." Sakura paused, trying to remember the girl's name. She had seen her before...she wasn't in most of her classes though...oh yeah! That was right. She was one of Syaoran's groupies, of the sort. In the similarity that she seemed to get every ounce of Li Syaoran that she could get, tracking him down at all possible times.

"Toki-chan." The girl finished for Sakura, spitting out the words bitterly. Her hands slammed down on the cafeteria table, side by side. She leaned forward in an intimidating fashion, towards Sakura, who still sat in her relaxed position, legs folded.

"Oh, that's right..." Sakura agreed, sweatdropping at her flaw. "My bad; I'm not very good with remembering nam—"

"Listen Kinomoto. I'm going to warn you." Toki's eyes glittered a dark blue, contrasting Sakura's calming green orbs. "Who do you think you are? Hanging out with Syaoran-sama all the time."

Sakura held back a laugh, hearing the _sama_ at the end of Syaoran's name. And how she would love to tell Toki that _she_ was rather the one being hung around with, that Syaoran had been the one to suggest this engagement of sorts. She settled on rolling her eyes. "So what's it to you who I hang out with?"

"You're a nobody. So what if you're a cheerleader,"

Oh, yeah, she had also been on the cheer squad...

"you're not suitable for Syaoran-sama. Don't go around with him like you mean anything. He's way better than your likes." Toki went on, inching forward with every burning sentence. "You could never be anything worthwhile to him. He's gonna move on. He doesn't give a damn about you, so stop acting like he does."

Sakura calmed her nerves, just barely able to contain herself from bubbling over and starting the ideal 'cat fight'. She put down her pen and lifted her hand, sticking out her index and middle finger...and poked Toki in the eyes.

Jerking away, Toki cringed, closing her eyes. "You little bi—"

"And so I'm to assume that you're better than me?" Sakura placed her chin in her palm. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to listen to you." she shrugged easily. "But thank you, Toki-chan, for the advice." She put on a polite smile. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta finish this stuff up before class starts again. She gestured to her notes. "See ya at cheer practice."

Seeing Toki-chan snarl and walk away quickly, Sakura was left with her thoughts again. Just when things had finally started to come together again...she thought she could forgive Syaoran. And it wasn't his fault this time. It was hers, wasn't it? For believing this whole thing was in reach. She desperately tried to fight the urge to run away and cry.

**Authoress' Notes: **Hmm...I actually really liked writing this chappy...or should I say, writing each little snippet. I like each part individually, but then I hope it doesn't jump around in the overall topic of this installment. I just wanted to get across the feeling that Sakura was starting to get closer to Syaoran, kinda forgiving him and stuff...but then all these small problems keep snipping away at her certainty about doing so. Anyways, review as always, won't you? ::hint hint::


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